his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
