God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
