it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Randomize