She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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