So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
