I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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