apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The air was thick with penises
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
