my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
