have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
