for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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