My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
