Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
