He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
