when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
