yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
