sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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