Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize