Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
