I can't watch pbs sober anymore
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
