So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
