he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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