This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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