Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
she peed on how many people?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
