Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
