How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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