I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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