One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
