I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
