Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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