I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
