just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
