It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
