can u get pink eye on your cock?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
