would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
