Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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