just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
