i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
A+ Viking dick
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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