I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
