It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize