I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
