Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
