so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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