I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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