Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
we're making bets on your personal life
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
