Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
