what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Last time i carry you out of a forest
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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