you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
