This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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