I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
