Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
So squirting runs in the family.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
