butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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