is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Semen is not good for contacts.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
