I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
