You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
