Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
