Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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