You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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