no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have feelings that need drinking.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
