Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
MIDGETS
????
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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