He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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