you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
