you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
