singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize