I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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