...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
