I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
