Where did you get a picture of my penis
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
